


The Way He Looks

by PastelPedals



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Blind Character, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25997509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelPedals/pseuds/PastelPedals
Summary: Blind!Ishimaru x Mondo fic based off unhealthydoctor's original idea. Oowada and Ishimaru become friends and eventually more, but only if Mondo can work through his internalised homophobia and his brother's expectations for him.No trigger warnings other than homophobia and homophobic language, and some ableism later on. There is swearing because of Mondo. I've tried to portray blindness as accurately as I can but there may be some mistakes so please forgive me.This fic is already finished but I'll release a chapter every couple of days or so.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka & Oowada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

# The Way He Looks

“Hey, Mondo, isn’t that guy getting hit on over there in our biology class?” Leon Kuwata nudged his friend and pointed towards the other side of the room, where he could just make out the characteristic shock of black hair and perfect posture. A tall, well-built man leaned towards Ishimaru Kiyotaka, mouth mere centimetres away from his ear, most likely whispering something suggestive if Ishimaru’s blush was anything to go by. Mondo looked over at Ishimaru, perched on the edge of his seat on Junko Enoshima’s sofa, drink in one hand, the other curled into a fist. His head was turned slightly away from the stranger, allowing Mondo to see part of his expression. His overbearing eyebrows furrowed into a dark frown, jaw clenched shut and mouth drawn into a tight thin line. His eyes stared blankly towards the ground, and it triggered a memory in Mondo – regret, shame and humiliation shot through his veins. Ishimaru was blind.  


Mondo had been stalking through some corridor, pissed off about something or other when he had carelessly knocked into Ishimaru. He had looked over his shoulder and grunted; “watch where you’re goin’, dumbass.” Then he noticed the white cane in his hand and blanched. Shit. He had just told a blind guy to watch where he was going. He mumbled a curse and an apology and bolted. Ishimaru had simply called out, “Don’t run in the halls, you might hit someone again!” His voice hadn’t been angry. It had sounded concerned. He was genuinely concerned that Mondo might hit into someone without meaning to.  


He now realised why Ishimaru looked so uncomfortable; he was sitting alone. No, not alone, he had been with someone else, but Mondo couldn’t remember who he had seen Kiyotaka with. He must have been left there, and then a stranger had started hitting on him. He glanced around the room trying to see who Ishimaru could have come with, but the darkness and the flashing lights made it hard to make out faces in the clusters of partygoers, made his head spin. He looked back to Ishimaru.  


He saw him mumble something and pull out his cane, extending it to its full length. He stood, turning towards where he remembered the front door to be, hoping the other man would take the hint and leave him be. The stranger was swift. He feet slid across the floor, positioning himself so he was directly in front of Ishimaru and took hold of his shoulders, smirking. Ishimaru froze; eyes staring ahead but seeing nothing. He pulled himself away from the man and took a step sideways, determined to leave. The man looked angry. Mondo recognised that look; the expression of not getting something you want and ready to beat the shit out of someone so you can get it.  


Mondo’s hand balled into a fist, and before he was able to stop himself he stormed across the dark room towards them. Others turned to watch him – this would probably make good gossip. He placed a firm hand on Ishimaru’s shoulder.  


“Ishimaru! Sorry to leave you like that, I just saw Leon and had to go catch up with him for a sec. You makin’ a new friend?” He turned to the stranger and glared, facing the problem head on.  


Ishimaru’s eyes widened and Mondo felt his body relax a little below his hand. “Oowada?”  


The stranger looked between the two, unsure of their relationship. He had the sense to step away, he knew that Mondo would be nothing but trouble, and decided Ishimaru wasn’t worth a fight with someone like that, someone with a leather jacket adorned with dragons and muscles evident below a tight shirt. He gave Mondo an easy smile. “We were just getting to know each other is all, no need to get pissed.”  


Mondo narrowed his eyes, smirk playing on his lips. “Is that right, Taka?” Ishimaru shook his head stiffly, opening his mouth to protest the situation, which he felt had gotten out of hand. Mondo ignored this, taking charge. “Looks like you just lied to me, fucker.” He threw a punch, hitting the guy square on the nose, didn’t notice the blood begin to pour from his nose and drip through his fingers onto the carpet. He grabbed hold of Ishimaru’s arm and led him towards the front door in a hurry, only taking a moment to glance back to Leon, whose mouth hung open in awe, dumbfounded, standing by the wall alone. He yanked the door open, momentarily fumbling with the unfamiliar lock and handle, and let go of Ishimaru’s arm when they were safely outside, the late-night wind biting into him. Ishimaru brushed off the front of his white shirt and took a deep breath, trying to hide the shaking of his arms.  


“You alright?” Mondo asked, hands shoved into his pockets to hide the blood on his knuckles. It reminded him of all the previous times he’d ended a night with a stranger’s blood on him. Petty fights and squabbles of biker’s honour.  


“I’m fine. I could’ve handled the situation by myself, but thank you.”  


Mondo rolled his eyes. “Sure, fuckin’ whatever. That guy had you cornered.”  


Ishimaru turned his head in Mondo’s direction, straightening his posture further. “I knew what I was doing, Oowada. Thank you for your concern, but I can manage just fine on my own!” He tightened his grip on his cane. “And now, I can manage to get home alone, too!” He spun round with one foot and held his cane out in front of him, swinging it from side to side, and began to walk away from Mondo.  


After a few steps: “Wait.” Oowada didn’t know what he was doing. “Weren’t you with someone? Aren’t you gonna meet up with them before you go?” Ishimaru paused for a moment before turning around, and Mondo wondered if he’d said the wrong thing. Ishimaru sighed.  


“I don’t know if you know him, but I was with Makoto Naegi. It was his idea I come here, and then he left me to talk to a girl he said went to his old school. I’m not going to wait for him.”  


Mondo swallowed thickly. “How are you getting home?”  


“I can walk.”  


He told himself to stop talking. “I can take you, if you want.”  


“You want to walk me home?” Ishimaru appeared sceptical.  


What was he doing? “No, I have a motorbike. It’s parked just down the road.”  


Ishimaru was silent, and Mondo could only assume he was considering the offer. His head tilted to the side ever so slightly, his lips pressed tightly together. Mondo suddenly felt warmer, and he realised he must be blushing. Although he knew Ishimaru would have no idea, he felt embarrassed all the same.  


“I suppose that would be helpful, but I’ve never ridden a motorbike. Is it safe?”  


Christ. Mondo hadn’t realised this guy was going to be a health and safety nut. In reality, he barely knew Ishimaru besides his name and face and the fact that they shared a couple of classes together.  


“Of course. I’ve got two helmets and I’ve never crashed.” He lied. He only had one helmet on him, the one he wore to drive here, and he had crashed several times whilst racing or slightly drunk or pissed off.  


Ishimaru nodded. “It’s good to find another believer in safety first! Lead the way!” He gave a large smile and Mondo didn’t know if he should smile back. Ishimaru had seemed sceptical, even irritated a few moments ago, and now he just looked happy to be making conversation, he couldn’t figure him out. There was another thing on Mondo’s mind.  


He bit his lip. “Do you, uh, need me to hold your arm while we walk to my bike?”  


Ishimaru laughed. “Of course not, I can walk alone! I’m perfectly able to follow you.”  


Although slightly put off by his strange and somewhat overly enthusiastic manner of speech, Mondo nodded and took Ishimaru to the street where he had left his bike and the helmet. Ishimaru gave him his address and Mondo was surprised to find it was just down the road from his own house; a ten-minute walk at the most. “We live so damn close to each other I’ll just drive to my house then walk you to your place. Saves a bit of fuel, anyway.” Ishimaru commented impassively on just how lucky that was. “Can you put the helmet on by yourself?”  


“I’ve never worn one before, but it can’t be too hard.” Mondo handed the helmet over, and watched as Ishimaru folded his cane with one hand and put it away before slowly lowering the helmet over his head. “Does it suit me?” Came the muffled voice from below.  


Mondo grinned. “Never seen anythin’ more attractive in my life. But you gotta push the back down. Here.” He pressed down on the back of the helmet, leaving his hand on the side for a moment too long. There was something oddly charming about seeing such a straight-laced student with blue jeans and a crisply ironed white shirt wearing a motorcycle helmet. “Does it fit okay? I’ll drive real careful, I don’t want anythin’ bad happenin’ to you.” He worried that was too friendly for someone he’d just met. “I mean, Daiya would fuckin’ kill me if anyone got hurt ‘cos of me.”  


“I think it fits. Thank you, Oowada.” Mondo said nothing, but swung his leg over his bike and shuffled forward, leaving room for Ishimaru to sit behind him. The other boy moved towards the bike with his hand out. It found Mondo’s shoulder and he secured his hands on Oowada, slowly lifting his leg up and over the seat of the bike.  


“You on okay?” Mondo felt Ishimaru nod behind him. “Uh, this is kinda awkward, but just hold on real tight, yeah?” He gave a nervous laugh; Ishimaru simply slid his arms around Mondo. He lifted the kickstand, and in a moment, they were off, motoring down the silent streets, illuminated by the sunset glow of street lamp bulbs.

They arrived within fifteen minutes, and Mondo was glad Ishimaru had agreed to let him drive them home, it would’ve been a long walk, and although Mondo didn’t doubt that he could make it home alone, he knew Ishimaru would be safer with him. Mondo pulled into his driveway and jumped off the bike, taking Ishimaru’s hand to help him. “We’re here. I’ll walk you home.”  


Ishimaru pulled out his cane and faced the direction Mondo was in. “I can get there by myself, thank you for everything you’ve done, but I don’t want to inconvenience you any further!”  


Mondo shrugged. “I don’t really mind, it ain’t like I got anythin’ better to do.” Ishimaru conceded, having no real counterargument to that statement, nor reason to find one. He reasoned with himself that he was simply too tired to procure a response, and that arguing further with Oowada just wasn’t worth the effort. He walked in silence with Mondo for a while.  


“Why are you helping me?” Ishimaru finally asked. Mondo didn’t want to answer, unsure of how to say: ‘because I was once really fucking rude to you and I feel like a massive dick’ in a way that wouldn’t make Ishimaru hate him? “Oowada?”  


“Uh, well y’see.” He swallowed thickly, avoiding looking at Ishimaru, “A few months ago I kinda accidentally pushed into you in the corridor and told you to watch where you were goin’. I swear I didn’t know you were blind and I felt like such an asshole-”  


Ishimaru laughed and waved his free arm, “So that was you! Well no damage was done, but you really should be more respectful of others.” Then he was serious. “And don’t run in the halls!”  


“I won’t.” He lied; Mondo didn’t give a shit about running in the school and would continue to do whatever he wanted.  


They went back to their comfortable quiet. Mondo realised that his hand was still covered in the blood from the stranger he had punched and once more shoved his hands in his pockets, even though they were alone on the street. He kept an eye on the house numbers just in case Ishimaru walked past it. He took his phone out and texted Leon to let him know what had happened and to apologise for leaving him. He’d have felt guilty, but Leon was the type of guy who had abandoned Mondo whilst lusting after some girl countless times. Besides, Leon could walk home. It’d probably do him good, Mondo decided.  


“I think we’re here.” Mondo pointed out, a few metres away from Ishimaru’s front door. “Number 37, right?” Ishimaru nodded in response and turned into the short driveway leading to his house. Mondo hung back, not wanting to intrude. “Well, this is where I leave you, I guess.”  


“Do you want money for the bike fuel?” Ishimaru folded up his cane and pulled a wallet from his pocket, black and plain and simple.  


Mondo pulled a face. “The hell? No, I don’t want money, it’s fine, okay? I was a dick and now I’ve made it up to you.”  


“That was months ago! And I didn’t even hold it against you. It’s forgotten. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to thank you for the ride? You did save me a lot of time!” Ishimaru didn’t seem convinced, having been brought up to believe that when you relied on others you had to return the favour in any way you could. More than anything, he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, and he most certainly didn’t want pity or handouts because of his blindness.  


“Well since I walked you home, you can gimme a kiss if you want.” Mondo replied, voice heavy with sarcasm, thinking of the countless chick flicks he’d had to sit through where the guy walks the girl home and they kiss on her doorstep. Only Ishimaru wasn’t a girl, and they hadn’t been on a date. Though he could think of worse things that could happen to him.  


A blush dusted Ishimaru’s cheeks for a fleeting moment. He lifted his arms. Mondo wondered for a brief second what he was doing; and then he realised. Ishimaru felt for Mondo’s shoulders, and then his hands continued upwards to hold each side of Mondo’s face. Mondo pulled his head back, away from Ishimaru.  


“Are you okay?” Concern grew on Ishimaru’s face.  


“No, yeah, I just wasn’t expecting you to, y’know, touch me. I was joking.” He raised an arm to hold Ishimaru’s with the intention of pulling the other boy away from him, but this aim was forgotten in an instant.  


“You asked me to kiss you. It’s payment, Oowada!” He gently turned Mondo’s head to the side and stood on the tips of his toes. His lips brushed against Mondo’s cheek, landing roughly an inch away from the corner of his mouth, and he let him go, fishing his keys from his pocket. Mondo couldn’t reply; just watched Ishimaru fit his key into the lock and push open the door. He called out to his parents to let them know he was home. He waved and smiled, hoping that Mondo was still there to see it, and closed the door. Mondo waved back before remembering it was pointless.  


He was dazed. Head swimming, his feet guided him home and he crashed into his bed without talking to Daiya - didn’t think he could handle speaking to anyone. He was vaguely aware of his hand making its way to his pants, and rubbing on the outer layer of his jeans.  


He fell asleep in his clothes.


	2. Chapter 2

Mondo didn’t get to see Ishimaru again until the next Wednesday. He had spent the entire weekend thinking about him, and honestly couldn’t wait to see him again on Monday, no matter how embarrassed his emotions made him feel. He knew that he had become way too attached to a guy he had never spoken to until two days ago, but knew he wanted to get to know him better. He wanted to find out what he was like as a person, what he did for fun, what he wanted to do with his life.  


Ishimaru wasn’t in on Monday. Mondo hadn’t exactly gone looking for him, but he made remained alert for the jet-black hair and piercing red eyes and brilliant white uniform. At the end of the day, defeated, he asked the only person he knew Ishimaru to be friends with: Naegi. He told Mondo that Ishimaru was visiting a university that day, but he’d be back tomorrow. Mondo asked what Ishimaru wanted to do at university, and Makoto gave him an odd look. His eyes narrowed and he looked Mondo up and down; scanning for an ulterior motive. He replied that Ishimaru wanted to study law, and Mondo rolled his eyes. Of course. For a moment, Mondo was uncomfortably reminded that they were in their final year of high school, and he should probably begin thinking about what he wanted to do after this year.  


He had already decided against following Daiya and applying for university, well aware that he lacked the grades or motivation to dedicate himself to studying. He liked working with bikes, so maybe a mechanic, or perhaps a carpenter, as he had broken so much he figured why not have a go at putting things back together. All that he was sure of was that he couldn’t stay in the Crazy Diamonds his whole life. He loved his gang; they spent every holiday hanging out and getting drunk and getting in trouble, but he knew it couldn’t stay like this forever. They were all going to graduate, and someday he’d have to get a proper job and buy a house and stop getting caught up with the law. But for now, the future wasn’t important. Not just yet.  


Makoto was a little scared of Oowada, with his height and size and reputation, but his curiosity got the better of him. “So, why did you want to know where Taka is?”  


Mondo resorted to the only way he knew to deal with an uncomfortable situation: anger. He puffed out his chest and balled a hand into a fist. “The fuck’s it gotta do with you, Naegi?”  


Makoto apologised and left in a hurry, glancing over his shoulder. Mondo almost felt bad for what he’d done, but didn’t want to have to try and explain his feelings to anyone. He hadn’t even tried to explain them to himself.  


On Tuesday, Ishimaru was back in school, but every time Mondo caught sight of him something got in the way, whether it was Leon dragging him to talk about his latest love interest, a teacher holding him behind for disrupting the lesson, or Chihiro trying to show him that her muscles had grown a little since he’d agreed to help her work out. They’d even had history together, and Mondo had tried to catch him at the end of the lesson, but he’d rushed off to get to his next class punctually.  


At the end of the school day, Mondo had raced out of woodwork in an effort to meet Ishimaru by the gates as he left, but learned that he was too late, and Ishimaru had already gone straight home to do his homework.  


Wednesday, he finally managed to catch Kiyotaka. They had biology together just before lunch, and at the end of the lesson, after Ishimaru had asked their teacher to further clarify something he hadn’t understood, Mondo sauntered up to him, bag slung over his shoulder carelessly. “Hey, Ishimaru, you wanna go get lunch together?”  


Ishimaru turned his head towards Mondo and smiled. “Oowada! While I agree that would be a good bonding experience, I have work to do.”  


Mondo’s smile dropped. “Work?” A frown crept over his features. “What work do you gotta do now?”  


“I study every lunchtime, Mondo. It’s my job as a student to spend my time working hard so I get good grades! Oh, I know, why don’t you join me?” He suggested.  


Mondo rolled his eyes. He really didn’t want to spend his free time studying, but he did want to hang out with Ishimaru. “Fine. I don’t have to do any work though, right? It’s okay if I just watch you?”  


Ishimaru smiled. “You can do whatever you want, but you know I’d always encourage you to work harder in school. A student’s job is to study, after all!” He put the rest of his belongings into his bag and pulled out his cane. “You can help me walk to the library, if that’s what you want to do.”  


Mondo swallowed and glanced around. Everyone else was leaving the classroom at their own pace, chatting to their friends or hurrying to get food. Nobody was paying them any attention. He put his hand on Ishimaru’s, who used this as a guide, running his hand up Mondo’s arm and stopping just above the elbow. He put his cane away. “I place my full faith in you!” Mondo looked away and scratched his nose with his free hand in a vain attempt to hide his blush. “Wait, Oowada!”  


“What? What is it?” He was suddenly alert.  


“Do you even know where the library is?” Ishimaru smirked. “I can’t imagine you’ve ever been there.” Mondo had to stop himself from getting angry, from snatching his arm away and yelling at the other that he’s not stupid. “Haha! I’m sure you do know where it is, Oowada, that was just friendly teasing!” Mondo began their journey without a word.  


He walked through the busy corridors with Ishimaru just behind him. He couldn’t help but feel the hot stares of the other students judging him, questioning why someone like him would be with someone like Ishimaru, so he shot death glares at anyone that he thought was looking at them. Ishimaru just hated how hot and noisy the corridors became when they got busy.  


They arrived at the library, and Mondo took Ishimaru to a table at the far corner, partially obscured by a bookshelf containing late 20th Century literature, P through Y. It kind of pissed him off that they couldn’t fit Z on the same shelf, and those last few authors had been placed alongside world literature, A though J. Ishimaru let go of Mondo’s arm and felt for the chair and table before getting his books out. Ishimaru began with English, running his finger over the lettering. Mondo leaned his head on one hand and watched him work, realising that he hadn’t read that book yet, but should probably get around to it if he was going to pass. Or at least he should watch the movie, he thought. He reached out a finger and felt the letters.  


“How can you read like this? I can’t make anything out.”  


“Hmm? Oh, it’s easy! You just need to learn the patterns for the letters and then everything is spelled the same as in English.”  


“Isn’t it hard to study when you’re not able to see?” He asked.  


Ishimaru had to think for a second. “I wouldn’t say it makes it any harder than for a sighted person. I can use my laptop and read and write braille, and no matter how difficult it was I’d still work hard to achieve my goals.” Mondo was silent. Ishimaru was blind, and he still worked so hard and did well in school, why wasn’t he doing that well when he could actually read the textbooks and see the diagrams? “Oowada?”  


“What do you wanna do for a living?” Mondo sat up, his gaze settling on Ishimaru’s slender finger resting on the braille letters.  


Ishimaru replied without hesitation. “I’m going to become the Prime Minister one day!”  


Mondo snorted out a laugh. “Seriously?”  


Ishimaru flinched. “What’s wrong with that?”  


“Nothing, it’s just such a perfect career choice. Why aim for anything but leader of the country?”  


Ishimaru relaxed a little. “What about you? What are you going to do?”  


“Who cares about that?” Mondo rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. “I can’t sit still forever like you can. I’m gonna go grab some food, you want anything?”  


Ishimaru shook his head. “I have a packed lunch.” He paused. “I’ll come with you anyway.” He put his things away, and his hand hovered over his pocket, unsure if Mondo would walk with him or if he should use his cane. His answer came when Mondo positioned himself to Ishimaru’s left, and they began walking.  


Mondo already felt comfortable by Ishimaru’s side, and he was silently pleased that Ishimaru didn’t seem to mind being led around. When they’d first met, Ishimaru had seemed independent and a little stubborn, but Mondo got the feeling that he didn’t actually have a problem with people showing him kindness, maybe he just wasn’t used to it.  


Mondo bought junk food, as usual, and was glad he didn’t have to worry about Ishimaru finding out that his lunch consisted of salt, sugar and fat. They sat on a picnic bench outside, with few others around due to the chilly weather of late September. They ate quietly for a while.  


“What do I look like?” Ishimaru wondered aloud.  


“You want me to tell you?”  


Ishimaru nodded. “I’ve asked Makoto but he wasn’t very helpful.” Kiyotaka remembered the awful description that he had been given. Pale skin, weird eyes, eyebrows that take up too much space and make Ishimaru look permanently angry. He repeated with some force, “What do I look like?”  


Mondo looked him up and down. “Well, you have dark hair, like really dark, red eyes, you’re pretty pale, nice bone structure, I guess.”  


“Am I good looking?”  


Mondo choked on his cake. “Well, uh, looks are subjective and shit.”  


“So I’m-” His voice caught in his throat. “I’m ugly then? You’re trying to sugar-coat it?”  


He gritted his teeth. Ishimaru looked genuinely upset, and he couldn’t stand it. Mondo didn’t want to see Ishimaru this way, especially not when it was down to him. “It prolly don’t mean much comin’ from another guy, but I think you’re attractive. Your face is well proportioned, you’re pretty tall, and you have fucking amazing posture.”  


Ishimaru’s cheeks were dusted red and he stuttered out a thank you whilst attempting to supress a smile. “Can I see what you look like? Can I touch your face?”  


Mondo was sceptical. What if Ishimaru thought he was ugly? And was it weird to let another guy touch your face in public? But the look of determination on Ishimaru’s face made him feel that he couldn’t say no. He took Kiyotaka’s hands and put them on his cheeks. He felt Ishimaru’s fingers glide across his cheekbones and down to his chin, briefly wandering over his lips then up his nose and to his eyebrows, which Kiyotaka smoothed out with his thumbs, frowning slightly. He heard him mumble about how messy they were.  


“Wow.” Ishimaru exclaimed, taking in the whole of Mondo’s face again.  


“What is it?” Oowada failed to hide the concern in his voice.  


“I think you’re really handsome, Oowada!” His smile lit up his face for a moment, until it was replaced by a look of concern. “Your face is warm; is everything alright? Do you have a fever?” Mondo pulled Ishimaru’s hands off of his face before he could work out that he had been the cause of Mondo’s burning cheeks.  


“Okay you’ve seen me now. Shit, sorry, not seen-”  


“I’m not done though.” He found Mondo’s face once more, up and to the sides of Mondo’s forehead, then up to his hair, where he suddenly stopped and his mouth parted slightly, brows creasing.  


“What is happening with your hair? Is that regulation? I thought there was a rule about no extreme hairdos. I’m almost certain there is.” He removed his hands and fumbled for his school planner in his bag, which contained a list of uniform rules printed in braille. His index finger skimmed over the surface. “Yes, here it is. Oowada, you will change your hair so it fits regulations!”  


Mondo groaned and put his head in his hands. They squabbled for the rest of the free period, ending with Ishimaru complaining he hadn’t gotten as much work done as he wanted to, and he’d have to stay up late to catch up. Eventually they agreed to meet after school to walk home together.  


Ishimaru was standing by the school gates, stopping anyone who he heard running out of the school, telling them to slow down. Mondo tapped his forearm and let him know he had arrived.  


“Ah Oowada, there you are!” He put his arm on Mondo’s, smiling brightly. They headed off together, Ishimaru walking perhaps a little too closely to Mondo. “What’s red like?” He suddenly asked. “You said my eyes were red, what does that look like?” He gave as further explanation when Mondo hadn’t understood.  


“Oh. Uh, well you know when you get really mad?”  


Ishimaru thought about it for a second, thinking of the times when he’d experienced anger to such an extent it could have been labelled with a colour. He thought that he didn’t get angry all that often, perhaps only when people had praised his genius and he’d had to explain that his success was down to effort and hard work, and natural talent could only ever be an indicator of complacency and future failure. “I think so.”  


“Yeah, well red’s kinda like that. But it also means danger, y’know? Like it’s bright and attention grabbing. But blood is red too, obviously.”  


“So my eyes look dangerous?”  


“No, no, they’re not dangerous. You’re more like, I dunno, the red of a stop sign. It catches people’s attention and it’s passionate.”  


“Passionate?”  


“Yeah.” Mondo had no idea where he was going with this. He continued. “Red is also associated with love and passion. And you get really fired up when people break the rules or somethin’, right? So your eyes reflect that part of you. The part that enforces the law and demands to be respected.”  


Ishimaru nodded, and they walked on in silence. Mondo felt himself glowing from the embarrassment of getting far too worked up describing another guy’s eyes. He didn’t know what was wrong with him lately, he was becoming far too attached to Ishimaru, and it wasn’t normal. His relationships, for lack of a better term, had all been with girls, but he hadn’t felt quite this way about them.  


They were brief affairs, consisting of him texting a girl he vaguely knew through Daiya or a member of the Crazy Diamonds, taking her to his place and trying to get off with her. He’d take her top off and unhook her bra and try to explain away his lack of erection. She’d have to try and get him hard, and he always had to do it himself. When he was ready to get the condom on, he’d slip into her, enjoying the sensation, but they always tried to kiss him and get him to touch them. He didn’t want to look at them; he closed his eyes and focused on how it felt. More often than not he couldn’t finish, and they just ended up touching themselves whilst he masturbated. This time, something inside him told him he wanted to kiss Ishimaru.  


“Do you wanna hang out at the park for a bit? Y’know, if you’re not too busy this evening.”  


Ishimaru sighed and weighed up his options. He definitely wanted to hang out with Oowada, doing all the things that he imagined “bros” do. But he knew he should work, especially since he’d wasted his lunchtime. But the warmth of Oowada next to him and his confident strides and his cocky voice drew him in and he agreed, but it could only be for a little while. He couldn’t afford to waste this much time every day, but for now he allowed himself some rest.  


“So what do we do at the park?” He enquired.  


Mondo shrugged. “Uh, y’know, just hang out. Talk, I guess.”  


This answer seemed to satisfy Ishimaru and he nodded. He’d always wanted to just “hang out”. Mondo led him to the small patch of grass and asphalt that constituted a park, situated almost directly between the area where they both lived and the school, making it a popular destination for youths to spend their time. It was a place where couples made out behind trees, thirteen year olds smoked to look cool, and little children fought over ownership of the swing set.  


Aside from a dog walker and a group of young boys playing football, the two were alone. Mondo took Ishimaru over to the swings and helped him sit on them. “Hold on tight.” He stood behind Ishimaru and gently pushed him.  


“Am I on a swing set?” He asked, feeling the rush of wind and the gentle force of Mondo pushing him. Mondo replied telling him he was. “I’ve never been on one before, I don’t think.” Ishimaru swung through the air as Mondo pushed him with more force, smiling at the sound of Kiyotaka’s laughter.  


After a while they grew tired of this and Mondo took a seat on the next swing over, absentmindedly rocking from side to side.  


“Aren’t we too old to be in a playground?”  


“Nah, s’fine really. There’s no little kids around anyway, so why can’t we be here?”  


Ishimaru nodded. “I should probably get home though, it must be late. What time is it?” He gasped when Mondo replied that it was half past four. They had been there for more than half an hour, and that was time he should have spent studying. He pulled out his cane. “Do you want to walk with me?”  


“Sure.” Mondo stood up and took Ishimaru’s arm, holding onto him for a change instead of the reverse. He heard some laughter from across the park. The kids had stopped playing and were pointing and laughing at the pair, yelling out and calling them fags. Mondo growled and let go of Ishimaru, beginning to walk towards them and scare the shit out of them for mocking him.  


“Oowada, wait!” Ishimaru ordered. “Violence is never acceptable, be the bigger man and let it go. Let’s go home!” Mondo had never seen him so strict, chin up and a stern frown on his brow. Mondo recalled that he had been hall monitor for the past few years before the school workload had forced him to retire. He had probably given Mondo detention once or twice. Or three or four times. From the looks of things, he must have been one hell of a disciplinarian. Mondo sighed and returned to his side, his hand resting just above Ishimaru’s elbow. He flipped off the kids and they left for their respective homes.  


As they walked, Mondo couldn’t help but think about how much he wanted to hold Ishimaru’s hand. He moved his hand down Ishimaru’s arm in restrained motions, so gradually that Ishimaru might not even notice it was happening. Eventually he was holding his wrist, and cautiously made the penultimate move. He positioned his hand where Ishimaru’s wrist led onto to his hand, slowly adjusting his hand so he could slip it into Ishimaru’s.  


“I think we’re here.” Ishimaru stopped suddenly, recognising the clues leading up to his house from the hundreds of times he had made the journey home. He shot Mondo a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mondo!”  


“Oh yeah, sure.” Mondo didn’t want him to go; he wanted to hold Ishimaru’s hand.  


“I’m okay from here, you can let go.”  


He was such an idiot. Of course, he had to let go. Why would Ishimaru even think about holding hands with him? They were both guys, and they weren’t even dating. “Right.” He dropped Ishimaru’s hand and left, calling out a goodbye as he walked away, not turning back. What was he thinking, trying to hold hands with Ishimaru?  


Mondo kicked stones as he walked home. Kicked empty beer cans and litter on the street. He shouted so Daiya knew he was home and went straight to his room, collapsing onto his back on the bed, resting his hands on his stomach. He poked his stomach, thinking that he needed to start going to the gym daily again, or he’d lose the muscles he’d worked so hard for. He sighed. Maybe he could convince Ishimaru to go with him. That was, if he hadn’t fucked things up by being weird. Ishimaru probably liked girls; Mondo was probably just a tool to help him get home easier.  


He flipped onto his side and stared at the wall, wondering why he was such a screw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a later than I said it would be, I had a busy week. I'll try to upload the next one tomorrow to make up for it. Thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! The title is based off a Brazilian film of the same name and I would recommend it if you like LGBT films. I've tried to format it so it's easy to read but as I'm new to HTML please let me know if there's any mistakes so I can try and fix them.


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